have i got a little story for you

im going to continue the story from where i left it.

so after i was better,
and i could stand on my own two feet and walk around..
i decided to buy my own house.

i thought since the case is over,
and i'm mashallah okay now,
it's time that rich and fish and the likes go back home,
and i can move on with my life.

i asked fish to find me a house,
even a small one,
so i could just move in there.

when i told fish this,
and rich found out that i was planning on moving out,
he blew it.

he was concerned,
and he wanted me to stay with him because he thought there was still danger for me out there.
i'll spare you the details of the arguments with rich and what all followed,
but to cut the very long story short;
i managed to convince him and talked him in to letting me go.

fish found a small house for me,
and he said that him and nd will stay with me and settle me in.

so one cold night of january,
(i forget the date,)
nd, fish and i left the rich house and off i was to be at my new house.

the plan was to meet S in the morning,
she would drop by before going to work,
and then come again in the lunch break.

it was all good.
everything was settled.
i would meet S,
and our life would be normal once again.

but clearly.
that was too much to ask for.

we were half hour down the road when cars came from every direction,
stopped us.
fish and nd got out but they all had guns and they wanted me.

they were some random pakistani men.
they took me out of the car,
took me to one of their cars and sped away.

as far as i can remember,
they hit fish and nd and then left.

they brought me to a house.
made me sit on a cold iron chair.
tied my hands at the back.
tied me completely with ropes.

the time was around 5am because i could hear the fajar azaan.

then one man came,
and hit me in the face.
took off my shirt.
my shoes.
my socks.
my pants.
that's what they kept doing for about 4 hours off and on.

at 9am,
their boss came.

he was also a pakistani.

he came and splashed cold water on my face and sat in front of me.

asked me who i was.
i said if you don't know who i am then there is something very wrong here.

he hit me with his foot where it hurts the most.

he yelled and asked me again who i was.
i told him my name and he was who the fuck are you.
then he said things like you have friends in these agencies,
you know people in the Pakistani army.
he asked me who i worked for.

i didn't know what he wanted to hear so i remained quiet.
he hit me again.

when i spoke,
he hit me then too.

he left me.

that room was cold.
and it was january.

i wasn't wearing anything except for my boxers,
and everytime my eyes would close..
they'd come and splash freezing cold water on me.

i was tied.
it was a dark room.

they wouldn't let me pee.
they wouldn't feed me.

i was there since 5 in the morning.

the cycle continued till about 7 in the evening.
that's when rich came,
and there were men around me and they were arguing and yelling.

i had no clue what was going on.
i was completely disoriented.

rich was able to get me untied.
but that didn't help me much.
they untied me,
and left me there.
i fell on the cold floor,
and i just lay there.

that's the last thing i remember.


i'm told that fish came and at 11,
he came and picked me up and took me to the hospital.
i couldn't stay there for a long time either,
it was unsafe.

i was there for one night.
the next day,
i was shifted.

my body was okay,
but broken in to a million little pieces.
it's been a month and i still have problems swallowing food.

for 2 weeks,
i survived completely on fluids.
even water hurt.

i couldn't speak.
my tummy hurt.
my back hurt.
my fingers hurt.
my leg hurt.
my head hurt.

my face was broken.
my lips were bruised.
i lost 4 more teeth.


i don't know how i survived those 18 hours.
but i did.

i'm still running.
still hiding.
i have no home at the moment.

i move every 2 days.

how i got to running and hiding,
is a new story altogether.

but for now.

i'm still alive.



"Is something wrong, she said
Well of course there is
Youre still alive, she said
Oh,
And do I deserve to be
Is that the question
And if so...if so...who answers...who answers..."