i make miracles like i walk on water

last night,
before going to sleep i decided that tomorrow i will wake up early and get myself a life.

i got serious scolding from M last night.
she asked me if i was getting my physio done and if i had tried to walk again,
my answer was no.

she gave me hell for that.
and i decided it's time.

and today,
i did exactly that.

i woke up at 2pm instead of my usual 7pm.
i had lunch and after that i got my physio done for 45 minutes.

since i was getting it done after so long,
i wanted to take it slow.

then at 530,
i went back for my physio.
i got it done for another half hour,
after which i decided to stand up.

i didn't want to give it a shot.
i decided that today i will stand up.

after trying for one whole hour,
trying to balance my left leg,
i stood up.
and kept my balance too.

the only reason i was not trying to stand up and walk was because my left side had become paralyzed again after the very recent incident where i got shot.
but a couple of days ago,
my left leg started to hurt.

pain is always a great thing for me.

i felt the pain for a long long time.
which meant that my nerves are alive and kickin'.

by 640ish,
i had stood up.
and i kept my balance.
i didn't want to go overboard,
so i tried to take just a few steps.

and i did.

i managed to take 2 baby steps.

:)

for a normal person,
two steps is nothing.
you probably don't even get anywhere in two steps.
but for me..
those two steps are the world.

when i will tell S and even M about those two steps,
they will understand.
and they will be the happiest people in the world with me.
they will be proud of me,
and they will tell me where all these two little baby steps can take me.

for me,
it has always been a matter of time.
once i decide that i have to do something,
i do it.

and every single time,
it has been no less than a miracle.

i lead a life in which every single day brings with it,
a miracle.

a miracle as big as me surviving the gunshots.
and as small as waking up every single day.

my verdicts expected to come out tomorrow.
inshallah it will go great,
and that will be the end of the longest chapter of my life.

and then i will sing this song.

"This is the moment, this is the day
When I send all my doubts and demons on their way
Every endeavor I have made ever
Is comin’ into play, is here and now today

This is the moment, this is the time
When the momentum and the moment are in rhyme
Give me this moment, this precious chance
I’ll gather up my past and make some sense at last

This is the moment when all I’ve done
When all the dreamin’, schemin’ and screaming become one
This is the day, see it sparkle and shine
When all I’ve lived for becomes mine

For all these years, I’ve faced the world alone
And now that the time has come to prove to them I’ve made it on my own

This is the moment, my final test
Destiny beckoned, I never reckoned second best
I won’t look down, I must not fall
This is the moment, the sweetest moment of them all

This is the moment, damn all the odds
This day or never, I’ll sit forever with the gods
When I look back, I will always recall
Moment for moment, this was the moment, the greatest moment of them all"