a life less ordinary.

Friday, November 10, 2006

questions


what does one do of all the thoughts in the head?
all the feelings in the heart?

there are times when you have a good,
positive feeling about something.
and the very next day you're questioning that same damn thing.

i don't want to question.
i don't want to plan.

i have started questioning.
way too much.

i keep thinking.
i keep looking at alternatives.
i keep looking for alternatives.

what will i do when all this is over?
where will i go?
will i ever be able to walk again?
if i start walking again,
what if something happens and i'm back to square one?
am i scared?
do i still believe?
should i stay here or go back to the states?
should i even go back there at all?
will i ever be okay?
will i be able to keep her happy?
will my family ever be safe?
will i ever lead a normal life again?


where is life taking me?

where has God brought me?

in this moment,
i'm lost.

i don't like this feeling i'm feeling.

i'm tired.
i'm exhausted.

i don't want to go on anymore.
but i also know i'll be better tomorrow.