questions

what does one do of all the thoughts in the head?
all the feelings in the heart?

there are times when you have a good,
positive feeling about something.
and the very next day you're questioning that same damn thing.

i don't want to question.
i don't want to plan.

i have started questioning.
way too much.

i keep thinking.
i keep looking at alternatives.
i keep looking for alternatives.

what will i do when all this is over?
where will i go?
will i ever be able to walk again?
if i start walking again,
what if something happens and i'm back to square one?
am i scared?
do i still believe?
should i stay here or go back to the states?
should i even go back there at all?
will i ever be okay?
will i be able to keep her happy?
will my family ever be safe?
will i ever lead a normal life again?


where is life taking me?

where has God brought me?

in this moment,
i'm lost.

i don't like this feeling i'm feeling.

i'm tired.
i'm exhausted.

i don't want to go on anymore.
but i also know i'll be better tomorrow.